God Can Mold Your Weakness Into A Spiritual Gift
Last night I asked God to take away my anxiety of gatherings forever and it didn't really work, LOL.
Hi beautiful people!!
I finished my math with big B+ 😵💫 The typical Asian mom voice in me says I honestly could have tried for a higher grade, but my interest in math has always been a humbling approach that I hardly try to understand…
And after approaching humility when I did not want to, my brain is complete soup after all the weight of trying to understand systems of equations and the world of excel.
In other words, I am exhausted in every way. I feel like I used up all my brain power trying to make something out of my math weakness.
But hey, I wanted to share something with you about the holiday season. About my other weakness. 😂
This probably won’t be a big surprise to you since I talk about anxiety a lot LOL, but in the recent years I tend to feel extreme anxiety when it comes to gatherings or even hosting my birthday.
When I host my own birthday (which is in February btw) I get so anxious that I forget to eat because I want everything to go smoothly, and I try to cater to everyone. It’s tiring and I feel like I don’t have fun when I’m anxiously engaged in performing perfection. Okay, it’s a little fun, but majority of the time, it feels suckish (okay, apparently not a word) to me because my brain is in tunnel vision of spiraling anxiety (and with no light at the end of it).
When I’m anxious, I shut down.
I behave extra reserved. I don’t say much since I’m too busy focusing on the part that’s the least fun to me. I smile here and there. Greet others here and there. And did I mention that I am definitely not thinking of Jesus? Yup. Yup. Yup.
I listened to a podcast1 that encouraged me to ask God for gifts. Not material things. Spiritual gifts. I could only think of one at this time.
Last night, I asked God to take my anxiety away when it comes to gatherings or hosting them 😆 But then this scripture2 popped in my brain… 🫠
27 Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;
28 For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.
One can argue that I don’t have to go to gatherings or even host anything. However, just from thinking of this scripture, the Lord knows better than I do that coming out of my comfort zone has helped me heal when I step forward in faith, #ILoatheExposureTherapy.
So I felt the impression to change my words and the gift I’m asking for.
As I pondered this scripture, I find myself praying for the gift of finding joy in becoming anxiously engaged. To be anxiously engaged in exercising faith, hope, and charity, instead of fear that fuels my performance towards perfection and completely forgetting I need Jesus.
I need Jesus in the entire process of being anxiously engaged in a good cause.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.3
46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—
47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.4
I get scared praying for these things because last time I prayed for the gift to connect with others, I got really depressed and developed the gift of deep empathy for others who struggle. LOL. A post for another time!! :’)
But hey, if the holidays stress you out like how it’s been for me,
remember that you can find joyful rest when you center Jesus Christ as your focus.5 You don’t have to make everything perfect. If that one thing is stressing you out too much and taking your focus away from what God can do for you this season, try and step back and breathe, and really think about why you’re doing this. Yes, I should definitely take my own advice more often 😆
Focus on the efforts that can be “good enough,” and take Jesus there with you.
And if you want, you can ask God for a spiritual gift like I did. My Father in Heaven may not take my anxiety away, but He can strengthen my weakness by practicing reliance in the strength of Jesus.
27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.6
^One of my favorite scenes from The Chosen, and beautiful example of the purpose of this post :’) I highly recommend watching it. It could fill your bucket! 🥹😭
Also, did you know that Jordan Walker Ross (actor that plays Little James) actually struggles with cerebral palsy and scoliosis in real life? I didn’t know that til I saw this! 😭
☃️
Do you experience something similar during holidays season? How do you handle it? #sendhelp 😂
See you in the comments ❤️💚
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