The Struggle to Keep the Change
Social media; the push and pull towards a virtuous cycle.
I was listening to President Nelson’s talk recently and he mentioned finding joy in repentance. And you know what, I hear that a lot from the Lord’s Apostles—however, as I heard it again the way that President Nelson described it, it began to weigh more inside of my chest. So much so that I kind of giggled. Giggling in the challenge of finding joy in repentance.
Change. It sounds SO uncomfortable to me. Let alone putting JOY with that. It feels like going from taking hot showers to cold showers. Or jumping in the deepest side of the pool, with a smile on your face because you don’t know how to swim. And maybe that’s too extreme. This is how I feel. But how can one find joy in something uncomfortable?
Relief Society is a Sunday school class for women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; a class to encourage, uplift, and bring relief to each other as we center Jesus Christ in our efforts and service to do so.
Well, I was asked to teach Relief Society this Sunday. My heart dropped to my stomach. I said yes, with a twitch in my eye. As I prepare for creating a lesson this Sunday, I am recognizing that accepting to teach this lesson is an experience the Lord knew I needed. I was nervous when I was asked; I mean, I felt uncomfortable. However, my preparation and believing that this lesson was given to me by the Lord gave me such a stillness that I am looking forward to share the lesson!
To be honest, it's hard to listen to the Lord’s personal plea to us—especially when He asks us at a time that feels inconvenient. What I have found much harder though is experiencing the consequences of not listening to His words, even in the smallest details. It is in the smallest pleas of the Lord that a greater thing can build up. It always starts small.
I fast quite a lot from social media, only because I find myself turning to all sorts of streaming media for comfort and counsel instead of my relationship with God.
And I’m not saying that going to social media for inspirations and relief is bad because it’s not;
however if it’s the ultimate resource of rest, that is when it can be very troubling…at least to my experience, the emotional consequences were something completely evident to me.
When I turn to media as my ultimate source of rest, I become more grumpy. I experience and set unrealistic expectations. Became angry with expectations I couldn’t meet. Angry at myself. Frustrated that I didn’t have enough time to watch or relax with my phone or finish my favorite vloggers’ YouTube video. Don’t get me started on Facebook shorts. It can be so entertaining that I lose track of my time—and! I would forget all the good ideas shared from Shorts that I want to do because I just watched too many. Haha.
When I turn to media as my ultimate source of rest, I unexpectedly think about my body in ways I’ve never considered. I feel insecure that I’m not tall, or have perfect skin. I slightly experience body image thoughts that distort the truth about my identity. I do not struggle with these body image thoughts a lot; they only visit me and I let them go. The thing is the danger and risk of constantly believing unhealthy, distorted expectations altogether. To be frank, it scares me.
Also just another disclaimer that I’m not trying to say that the media is bad - in fact I think the creation of media is a divine blessing for all of us; especially in moving forward the Lord’s work! I hope no one here attacks me, lol :’)
I just want you to know that you and I can find true rest in Christ as our ultimate source. Through prayer, I’ve been getting inspiration as to how I can watch myself often when I find myself vulnerable to turning to the media as my source of ultimate rest. I’ll share these soon, and I really think you would enjoy them! They could be downloadables…I don’t know… ;)