Marriage, marriage, marriage. Smelling books that have been in that old box for so long—the smell of old parchment with a hint of lemon. The morning light gives a bold spotlight to the dust bunnies. Elderly people smile at you when you take walks. Sneezing—lots of it. I must admit that spring is lovely, my allergies are not.
Well, here I am, writing this. I’ve been learning a lot from school (marriage and family studies), and the holy scriptures. There’s power in putting the secular and spiritual learning together and I feel like that’s an undermined quality. I’m learning psychology and how God divinely intervenes in the scientific information of just, you know, absolutely everything of it all. It’s His design after all.
To truly understand that all knowledge comes from a Wonderful God, is to feel that one has the power and strength to choose the greatest good as an individual, for ourselves, and do good—no matter how imperfect and feeble that could look to us.
A power I chose to practice every day lately is the healing power of gratitude. Oh yes, surprising. It really is a healing power though. I prayed and asked God to show me my weakness, which of course He did. And unfortunately, there was more than one. It was heart-wrenching and painful. Hated it— it felt like drowning in a filthy swamp and tasting its horror in the corners of my mouth. Yep, pretty gross and dramatic.
I hated it so much that I felt bitter towards God. I felt so angry. So mad. But I’ve never felt so real.
Not ever in my whole life have I ever felt my emotions blow out of my standardized proportions and to their wit’s end.
Growing up, to feel something strongly was normal. But expressing emotions on the other hand was not really my talent, at least not in my youth. And now, to my confused excitement, I’m throwing grenades right and left. Of course, I’ve improved and I’m progressing every day. You know, human tings.
You may have heard of this metaphor, but when I think of broken things I think of a crevice on a slightly bumpy pavement. When something is broken, it is considered open—creating space for something new. In the case of the cracked pavement, something sprouts up—flower weeds, etc. I guess what I’m trying to say is that when God breaks you down, it’s to make room for new things. And sometimes, that’s really hard to swallow. It can be so, so hard to let go and accept.
The day we accept the gifts that God gives us—by accept I mean really feeling and actively thinking we deserve God’s blessings—we gain “a fresh view of God, the world, and ourselves.”
36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt alove the Lord thy God with all thy bheart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy cmind.
38 This is the first and great acommandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt alove thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the alaw and the prophets.
— Matthew 22
To love God means to understand our worth to Him. When we choose to see ourselves how He sees us, that is when our hearts can change and feel that faith in Jesus Christ is not just completely relying on Him—but having full confidence in the truth of who we are. As cheesy as it sounds, the truth really can set us free.
I hope you can find your own miracles in practicing the healing power of gratitude! Have a beautiful day. I promise that you will feel God’s love when you really, really believe His words about the beautiful you and those around you.
Oh! These are the things that tickled my brain recently, hehe:
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Hi Jae! Seems you're in school but it's all good. So many insights about brokenness and what God plants in the openings. I'm learning the feeling journey where some feelings are ok while others are scary. Thanks for your post!