God Preserves & Prepares His Young Single Adults
The lesson I learned when I let God intervene in my love life
Hi, & welcome! My name is Jae—I’m a smol Filipino-American, married to my cute Filipino husband, and a proud doge mum. I like to share treasures from my life, my journey as an aspiring creative, and holistic wellness as a Latter-Day Saint Christian. Remember to subscribe if you’d like to receive my posts! You can find me on Facebook, hehe. You’re more than welcome to share whatever resonates with you. Thank you for being here. 💌
One of the greatest leaps of faith are the ones that requires us to let go, to trust in the Lord’s words when He says He has planned something far greater for us.
As I’ve put my trust in Him and more confidence in my writing, I’ve felt the Lord telling me not to fear the process. Especially because ever since I posted my first paywall content, I lost a couple of subscribers already and that’s never fun, lol. BUT, I also needed to remember that God will bring those who need to hear what I have to say and stay. And I also know that overtime my content may change a little bit and grow in some way and some of my subscribers won’t resonate with that anymore and that’s okay too. Wonderful news is that I’ve gained new paid subscribers and it’s exhilarating to have your support (you know who you are!)
Well, I thought about what I could share and I guess I wanted to share a funny story, lol. One thing I’ve been thinking about is how the Lord prepared me to meet my husband (there were so many ways, but I’ll share this one thing for now). I talked about this a little bit on my last post about the weird and quite dull dates I’ve been on before I met G, my husband (I’m talking about the dates I went on during my early twenties)
Something a good friend shared with me is that if someone invited you to go do something or go to an event and you do not feel even an OUNCE of desire to go - you should go for it because it could be life-changing in some aspect. At first, I did not even know what that meant nor did I even realize I experienced this old phrase mentioned to me until my sister and her family invited to me to go to a friends-giving gathering (year 2019, around late November).
I did not want to go. At all. I just wanted to stay home, be alone, eat, and maybe cry.
First off, I was still adjusting to my first ever medication (that I hated with all my hating heart) which meant I was terrified of everything. Second, my body reacted to anything that overstimulated my senses (lights, loudness, crowds, intimate gatherings) - and when this happens, I will do my breakdown ugly panic-cry.
Well, I had to go anyway because I couldn’t be alone at the house especially as mentally fragile as I was then (I lived with my sister and her family at that time).
We got to my sister’s friend’s house and lo, and behold, we didn’t even enter the house yet and my whole body felt extremely uncomfortable and scared. I don’t know, I was just a scared bunny, thanks to my adjusting-to-pills-self.
We took our shoes off as we got in and I tried to keep my horrified emotions to myself for as long as I could. Everyone was saying hi to each other, and I tried to do the same thing and smile back. I didn’t know some people there. I definitely did not know the guy sitting on the couch (wink), not looking at anyone or saying hi (wink wink), and gave off the energy that he couldn’t care less. What this guy was giving off is definitely what I felt except he wore it better. Let’s call him Cool Guy.
That night, I cried publicly because my fear of anything and everything increased. I went to the bathroom, tried getting myself together, which didn’t really work and so I went out and sat on the staircase not wanting to socialize with anyone. I felt like everyone there thought I was coo-coo for cocoa puffs. I remember a few people trying to comfort me sitting next to me on the stairs and Cool Guy needed to use the bathroom which meant he needed to go up the stairs and obviously saw me looking like a wet mop. I was still crying and I could not stop.
Also, that was the same night my sister’s best friend (I’ll call her Daphne, hehe) asked me if I was single, and of course I terrifyingly said yes and I also told her I was talking to someone (who turned out to not even care about me that much and I totally regretted trying to pursue that one but I feel like my emotions were all delulu from my medication, lol) and Daphne gestured to Cool Guy and said to me with a wink and a nudge, “Well, I know someone else who’s single.” Cool Guy did not know we were talking about him since he was in the kitchen, turned around, trying to get more food.
Okay, fast forward, two years later, 2021.
SO much happened in those two years and I came to the point in my dating life where I felt like I was trying too hard to make things happen the way I want them to happen - I mean since I feel like I had righteous desires it meant that ALL the good things I was trying to do could be smooth and successful for me, ESPECIALLY when it came to my love life. WRONG. WRONG. BIG, FAT WRONG. I learned my lesson after the biggest romantic heartbreak ever from that one (I’ll share this one to you guys!)
Before my husband, I never really had a lot of serious romantic relationships. My parents divorced and their marriage was rocky, and I watched my older sisters date so many people and I guess because I was a front row seat observer I felt too scared to pursue something seriously, let alone stay in it for a long time. I definitely had long time crushes and like two boyfriends that lasted like five seconds. I thought dating apps would make it easier (it worked for some people so I thought it could work for me!) especially because I had a naive thought that every return missionary on there would actually be wholesome, but most of them on there were big, waving red flags.
Anyway, where I’m getting at here is that, the moment I let go of what I thought my love life should be like, the more I was letting God manifest His power into my life in every aspect. I was taught that God cared about every detail in my life, and if that really was true - it meant that He is doing everything in His power to create something beautiful for me too if I just put my full trust in Him.
So I did.
I deleted the dating apps and even stopped talking to some guys that I felt like were a waste of time. I focused on school and I cried here and there because I still wanted a boyfriend but I also felt like every guy I was running into were just not it. You know what it felt like? At that time, it felt like God was trying to hide me from any potential relationship - I literally felt like there was absolutely NO ONE for me. I felt that for a while but it wasn’t true. God was just preserving and preparing me for the right time and He was doing the same thing for my (future) husband before we fully interacted with each other.
Because I was beginning to understand that God was only trying to protect and preserve me, the best thing I could have ever done for Him and for myself was work in the temple. It was the best thing ever. I was able to focus on God more and my relationship with Him. I found myself making more time with my Heavenly Father and doing everything He asked me to do. I mean, it was not perfect at all but the thing is the Lord does not expect perfection - He does expect for us to grow and become the best we could be by trying to do and become a little better each day. There were some days my struggle-bus mental health got the best of me and it was hard to show up in doing good things - God understood that and He consecrates our affliction for our gain.
I went to my local YSA, tried to participate more in YSA activities, did what I could do to show up for my calling, and enjoyed being single. I savored every moment of being single, and what God wanted me to receive as a single young adult—He offered me friendships, healing and strengthening my mental health, embracing the growing process I was going through, and ultimately enjoying everything God had to offer me, including my life. It was just me and God - and nurturing my relationship with Him felt the most validating love and companionship I could ever have. And understanding that gave me courage and hope that everything was going to be okay.
As I got a hang of this spiritual momentum I had going on, that was when my husband fully came into my life (two years later after that friends-giving night where I first saw him - when Heavenly Father was kind enough to give me a sneak peek), who also happened to be Cool Guy from the friends-giving I didn’t want to go to for all my irrationally-frightened/medicated reasons.
Trust in the Lord and in what He has to offer for you now at this specific time in your life. You may not have your “ideal blessings” but He can help you recognize the blessings you need the most right here, right now. Heavenly Father wants you to keep hoping, striving, and CONFIDENTLY CLAIM every blessing He has for you - even if the blessing looks like enjoying the process, waiting, and witnessing everything unfold before you.
See you in my next one! ;)