Hi cute friends!! My brain has been functioning/resonating within this type of writing style (like a perspective, blueberry thoughts entry) lately. If you don’t like it, that’s fine lol. Just wanted to let you know that my heart is still here and very much appreciative of all of you. ✨ 🥹 💜
Lately, as soon as I wake up, I often find myself asking God in some way, shape or form: anything?
the days feel extra long,
it feels like I have more time to waste
and I do feel bored most of the time, especially now that I don’t have college courses filling up my schedule
time feels endless
maybe because I’m focused on the waiting
and YES, waiting is absolutely BORING :’)
🐌
Looking back on the times that I’ve waited -
most of them were in times of tender transition,
tender workings of my fragile mind’s effort to help the core of my heart and soul to want what God wants for me
tender attempts of changing my mind
from old to new, from me to Jesus
the most raw, uncomfortable, and joyful feeling of daily repentance
🌿
Anything?
I call back, follow up, do my job research, find what’s best
I wait, I wait, I wait
Managers haven’t decided, still on the process they said
I apply for more
🕊️
Anything?
Not a single notification or update
. . .
My time today increases,
everything feels very still, favorably connecting and resonating with every detail of my pace
I ask the Heavens again, anything?
I sat and took a look around me
for months, I’ve been telling God about my small desire for a sewing machine (and I honestly would’ve been fine if I didn’t get one), I told a kind elderly lady about this casually and she gave me a new and barely used sewing machine last Sunday, she said she didn’t need it, I stare at the machine, it was a tiny prayer that came true
I look at my books, many of them I haven’t finished
My newly bought gardening gloves untouched
I set up my scrapbook weeks ago and she also looks back at me longingly
my guitar, ukulele, my singing to the birds who greet me in my basement windows
my dearly beloved baking supplies, recipes, my journal
my google doc drafts of my many children’s book ideas
my cutest nephew asking, “hi nini, wanna play?!?!?!”
an endearing opportunity to call my parents, catch up with loved ones
they all told me they were waiting too
❄️
At the beginning of this waiting period, I thought God gave me so much time
so much time to just be bored,
but it was when I looked at my many opportunities inside divine blessings, gifts and talents
that I learned about waiting on holy ground
no, waiting on holy ground doesn’t feel like sitting quietly, zoning out in a waiting room
it was more than that
waiting on holy ground means seeing where I am at this moment, where I could be
witnessing the details of where I am, what I can observe, who I can listen to, what I can appreciate, embrace, enjoy
waiting on holy ground meant seeing God where I currently stand,
to eagerly and with solid gratitude—learn of His unwavering stillness
Many lessons are taught in this remarkable chapter, but central to them all is the axiom that the seed has to be nourished and we must wait for it to mature; we “[look] forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof.” Our harvest, Alma says, comes “by and by.” Little wonder that he concludes his remarkable instruction by repeating three times a call for diligence and patience in nurturing the word of God in our hearts, “waiting,” as he says, with “long-suffering … for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you.”
COVID and cancer, doubt and dismay, financial trouble and family trials. When will these burdens be lifted? The answer is “by and by.” And whether that be a short period or a long one is not always ours to say, but by the grace of God, the blessings will come to those who hold fast to the gospel of Jesus Christ. That issue was settled in a very private garden and on a very public hill in Jerusalem long ago.
If you’re sitting inside God’s waiting room like me,
and it seems like no one’s calling for you,
remember that the Lord does not condemn those who ask: anything?
because even in the waiting, He happily responds,
“For you,
EVERYTHING.” 🩶
trust me, press play!!! 🫶🏼
I love your writing style and the fact that you are choosing to remain authentic 🤍